Memoirs of Millie

New Year New Start

2008-01-25T15:45:00.000Z

So very much has happened since my last post. But I will not go into it. If you know what happend, you know.

I'm having a hard time at the moment trying to understand people. And things are very hard at the moment. J is going through a break down at the moment. With the prospect of us breaking up on a one year temporarily basis, in order for a huge career change is tearing him apart. What is age at the end of the day except for a number? If I was just born one year earlier the amount of difference it would make is astounding.
Understanding his illness is a mountain which I hope to reach the summit of soon. I think the best thing for us to do is to talk. Alot. We haven't really spoken it alot to one another, except for the side effects of his medication.
I try and stay so strong for him, but I also need someone to lean on in life. I am currently missing my father very much. It has been almost a whole year since I last saw him. I think I might email him.

I am getting really confused about J, as it is putting a huge strain on me. I dont know what to do.

Memories Are Fading From The Brightness Of The Future

2007-11-12T16:14:00.000Z

Well it is Monday. This morning I had an exam. I hope it went alright
But on Sunday I met up with Tom in town. As friends. Yet we still kissed, and hugged and held hands in the same way. And I could truely feel my heart breaking, knowing that it wasn't right and taht things from now on are going to be very different. I know life moves on. But the last 5 months we have spent together have just gone so fast. And I keep thinking that maybe we will forget about one another. Maybe we will loose contact and just drift apart like I have with other people. I hope that isn't the case here.
But I have to look up. Yes we are still going to be friends, but things far more exciting are going to happen. Today I was thinking about the future. And what it might bring. And I have realised how much there is to look forward to, and it kind of outshines the happiness that I have. But in a good way. If you think about it, as you get older you need bigger things to make you happy or smile.
I think that I am on the right track to a bright future. Well I hope so. I just have to keep reminding myself that it is all worth it in the end.

Clear is the Sky, and So Are My Thoughts

2007-11-07T18:30:00.000Z

Things seem alot clearer now. I have found serenity. I think now that maybe I am truely happy. Or very much on my way to reaching that goal. I have confessed my inner feelings. And I am learning to cope better. I have found that people just aren't worrying about, if they give you no worries. There is no point shortening your lives worrying about them.

Things are looking up and I have a big future to look forward to filled with success, love and happiness. It may be hard at the moment, but I guess this is what makes you into an adult.

Untitled

2007-11-03T16:54:00.000Z

Dreams have blown away with the smoke of burning hopes
Regrets spark the kindling, ready to ignite
Intenisty of flames filled with the power of fright
Clinging onto the air of life
Relief extinguishes the fire of death
Which leaves its charred scars
Until it burns again.

Millie Elvé 2007

Retrospect

2007-11-03T13:16:00.000Z

With hindsight I think I can see why these events over the last few days have happened. I guess it is because recently I have been trying to let out something that I have kept form everybody, something that I guess only one person would understand. Well that all changed last night.

Last night was very dark, so dark, I am surprised I pulled through it. But I opened up. And, well it made things better in one way. but it made things worse aswell.

I guess now will be my chance to get the help I have needed all of this time. I found that yesterday evening, I was starting to slip back into my old ways. As now I had faced the truths, I cannot help but take this route. Also, I just feel so alone. So alone. People tell me they will help me. But it just doesn't seem enough. I know that this is awfully selfish and may make people think Iam greedy.

I just hope that now, people will see, that this is my chance to change , and therefore become a better person.
I feel that I am already changing.

Silence is so deafening.

2007-11-02T17:56:00.000Z

Silcence brings pain to my ears more so than any loud noise in the world. It doesn't jsut hurt my ears, but it hurts my mind and my soul.
I just want to say that I am willing to listen. Whenever. But I just have to wait. I want to, but I know I shouldn't talk to you. I want t oso much. But I can't. it wouldnt be right.
I just hope you realise that now the ball is in your court.
I hope you make the right choice.

Heartbreak, Break-Up

2007-11-02T17:17:00.000Z

What can I say. My head seems to be full of dust and dirt. Nothing seems very clear and now I am constantly doubting the world around me. I don't really know what to think.
He says he still loves me. But considering how many times he has changed his mind I can't help but think that he is doing this for his own sake... so he won't be so guilty.
I don't know if I want friendship out of this either. Should I bother, consdering how he has treated me? Or should I just forget about him completely? There are just so many unanswered questions, and I probably will never know the right answer until I make some more mistakes. That is just how this world works.
Feel like writing a story or a poem. But because of all the dust, things are not clear enough to write down onto paper.
Don't really know what else to write about. This was hard enough.

Suns Coming Over The Hills

2007-10-25T16:25:00.000+01:00

"You were lucky if you were sufficiently strong, to daily decide not to die."

I was told this by a friend, whom I know who has been though alot, far more than I have. But it means alot. Recently I have been thinking alot. About who I am, what I am doing, and most importantly what others think about me. I think that maybe the situations which I am in are wrong, I am not portraying what I am truely like, as I am afraid that I will loose those closest to me.
I am sure that they will not abandon me, or leave me. But I am too insecure to take the risk.
I hope that soon I will take this risk. And show the world who I truely am.

We Can Rule The World.....

2007-10-23T21:38:00.000+01:00

Yea you and me, we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl
We can rule the wurrrllld!

I love that song so much and hopefully tomorrow I am going to watch the stardust movie. Can't wait. Even if the story line is not good, I have a feeling that the main guy in it is half decent looking, so if I do get bored there is at least something good to watch!

Tom is still in America. From what I have ehard he is having a great time! I wish I was tehre with him, and he wishes the same! Pesky parents would not be there and we would just have a great time

Well Sunday nihght Jaz came round and we met up with Lucy. I then slept over her and on Monday we met up with Lucy in town and did a bit of shopping. It was good to catch up with her

Well I am going to go now. As I have a sore throat and it takn me so long to write this and I am very tired!

Howdy!!

2007-10-18T16:41:00.000+01:00

Yes, there is an American theme to this post, as Tom is now in America, or will be quite shortly. I saw him yesterday to say my goodbyes... yes its a bit silly as I am seeing him in about 10 days... but I do miss him alot. But in a way its good, as I think these breaks help things along... just wish I was there with him.

Not much has happend today, just the usual school. But I am so glad that it is half term next wekk as there is a stack of work to be done and I have left it until then. Also there is one thing I am glad about Tom being in America for, I get to do the work!

I did find out today though that this girl in my year, who is cquite chubby and ginger, is going to go to this halloween party dressed as a fairy. I wasn't going to go to this party, but when I heard about this and the fact that she spent £40 on the outfit, it made me change my mind!

Well it's Friday tomorrow, but to be honest the half term cant come quick enough!

Rain, rain, go away. Come back here another day!

2007-10-16T17:42:00.000+01:00

I don't know what it is, but I feel that many people around me are "stuck in a rut". Many seem to act the same as they did 1, 2, 3 or even 4 years ago. I wish that some people would just change for the better. But for themselves and not just other peoples sake.
Today has not been great. Full of the usual ridicule that I will never get used to, not matter how long it goes on for. The more I seem to ignore it, the worse it seems to get, as people seem to think that I just don't realise that it is going on. I guess that there really is no solution.
I don't really know what else to say. I can't really think as my brain is still trying to put todays thoughts straight in my head.
But I know that I do want to take up photography. I just don't have a half decent camera. :-(

I Can't Do The Talk, Like They Talk on the TV

2007-10-15T16:35:00.000+01:00

Today has been the first day back at school of the week, quite obviously. And it has been relatively easy. Thank god, as the weekend has been jam packed.
After work on Saturday, which I got a pay rise (from £4.75 ph to £5.00), I went home. I had a really bad headache so I called off meeting up with Jaz, but seeing as it is half term next week it doesn't really matter. I then bussed my way to Street, which was quite amusing as I had to convice the bus driver that I did not have to pay for a full price ticket, which actually, thinking back, was more annoying than amusing. Anyway, get to Street and then Tom and I hung out a bit with his mates, which was alright.
Sunday, Tom and I went to Yeovil, did a bit of shopping and a bit of bowling... this weird drunk ginger bloke managed to scab 50 pence off us for his "bus fare", more like cider fund.
It was just such a great weekend being with Tom, and I have missed so much the whole staying over at his, i just enjoy it so much!
We also watched a bit of the ruggers, of which of course England beat France. Ha!
Don't really know what else I can talk about.. all I can think about is Tom, its just been such a great weekend. But I won't go on, as I do not want to be one of those people who is a boyfriend bore.
Me and my friends are orgnaising this camping party thing for over the half term. Yes, it will be freezing, yes we are slightly mad, but it should be a right laugh!!!! We have the venue planned... just the date lol
Anway, better be off, have to finish my french coursework about Pavarotti. Ha ha!!

I Can't Wait For The Weekend To Begin...

2007-10-12T19:46:00.000+01:00

Why hello there!
Today has been rather relaxed, yet painful. As I am coming to the end of this cold my sinuses have become ever so painful. It is horrible, and trying to get through double A/S history at the end of a very long week was actually quite hard.
I went to the doctors earlier, only to get some more inhalers for my asthma and to get some stuff for my ears!
Early night tonight mind, i have work early, and I am already knackered! But tomorrow I am seeing Jaz which should be great, as I haven't seen her since Lucy's party and that was only very briefly.Last time I went over to her Dad's house was at Easter, that was before the french exchange! As you can tell, so much has happened since then and a couple of hours I feel really won't be enough.
After that I am bussing my way over to Tom's house, which involves waiting for 50 minutes between two buses. But luckily the stop is very close to my grandparents house so I will wait there. Bloody rural transport it is rubbish! So expesnive for such a crap service!

Anyway hope the weekend will be alright, that's if I am not feeling as weird as I did earlier!!!

Stardust.....

2007-10-11T17:33:00.001+01:00

The proof of me being a 90's child is beginning to show... I keep getting Spice Girls and Take That tunes (new and old) stuck into my head. And I seem to very much like the STardust song by Take that! O dear, o dear o dear!

Last night, Tom came over. It was just so great to see him again after this time. So much has happened in the last 2 or so weeks, and.. well, I don't know. It was kind of surreal and it seemed that the gap in between when we last met was just a blur. But it was worth it. I feel that now we are more fresh and better for it. These feelings are just indiscribable really... which is a poo for you as you can't get right in my head.. but I guess the only thing I can say, is that I love him.

Ok, ok, less soppy stuff. Today I have started a mini war between two teachers at school because of my work experience placement in July... I hope so much that I am able to go to Toulouse as it will be such an amazing oppurtunity, but if I don't, well thats just life!!

Other then that, nothing much has really happend. Just the same old stuff. Except for the fact that I have recently got in touch with quite a few people from my primary school in London. It is so great to get in touch with them again, and to be honest, quite weird! Most of them, I have to admit have turned out t be right chavs... but a few of them, mainly the ones who I was quite close to haven't! Which is good!

Dan admited to me that he has glandular fever. He decided to tell me that after I had some of his drink. Very annoyed about that. Hopefully its ok though :-S

I can't think of anything more to write about at the moment, so ta ta for now!!

Booogies

2007-10-09T18:00:00.000+01:00

No, I have not joined Dick and Dom on their conquest to take over the world with this ingenous game of theirs, but I have infact been quite ill with a horrible cold. Therfore I didn't actually get round to seeing Tom on Sunday, as he was ill aswell. But he is coming here tomorrow evening which should be good!

In the previous post I think my hormones must of been running quite high.... and as I was coming down with something I don't think that I was being honest... I was just being blinded

Well today we sat a GCSE reading paper in French, but ti was the foundation tier. Anyway, I got full marks... I was quite happy considering I guessed about 3 of the answers! And used a bit of lateral thinking in the sense they wouldnt have three option B's on the multi choice!

Today I did receive a whole tube of smarties as I did the lovely job of litter duty. I seemed to make Lucy and Hannah crack up in hysterics, but this was soon cut short as they were stolen by a very ungratful teacher.

Anyway, less about that. I am still a bit bunged up and my voice keeps going as I have an awful cough Also as I am all blocked up my hearing has gone even wrose then it usually is. i really need to get it checked out as I fell that the ear, of which I have perferated the ear drum, is getting slowly worse. If I was to go deaf then that would be very tragic as I would love to go places.. when you are deaf that can't happen so much, no offence to any deaf people out there!

Im GREEN aba dee aba doo

2007-10-05T19:26:00.000+01:00

This morning I woke up from a very vivid and emotional dream. In it, I was picked to go on a rocket to Pluto, where we would explore the planet. I was really upset about this as I felt that I was going to die. Anyway i didn't, and on our way to Pluto, in the plug hole of the kitchen sink (on the rocket), this green hand came up though it. And of course we all knew that it was this alien whch wanted to kill us, so we killed it. Well we got to Pluto and it was very much like this planet, but the rules and laws were alot stricter then they are here. And then we returned to my school and it was empty except for me and Tom. Just a crazy dream!!

Anyway, I am sure you would like to know some more real stuff. Today was inset day, so that meant no school. Thank god, I hate it so much. Anyway last night I was pretty upset.. as on ebay there was this dress I really liked and didn't really have enough money. I showed it to Tom, trying to hint to him, but he didnt really pick up on it. He told me he would of 'loved to of seen me in it ', but he didnt go any further then that. I thought that maybe he could of been romantic and bought it for me without me knowing, but he obviously hasn't :(
I don't intend to sound spoilt, but sometimes I feel that he doesn't treat me any different then if I was his freind... which reminds me recently he has got really tight over money, maybe he has bought something he shouldn't of :-S

Well today I did shit all. I had to get up early though as I had to see Max across the main road to school and after that I counted up my coins and found I had £15 so I went and cashed it in at the Halifax. I thought that they would have some scales to weigh out the money but she had to count it all by hand, and most of it was coppers :-S

This afternoon I haven't really done much. But one of Mike's freinds has just phoned asking where Mike was. I said that he was at Ross's on a sleepover, and the guy phoning was at Ross's and said that Mike and Ross weren't there. I hope he is alright as Ross is the sort of guy who is likely to do something extremely stupid.

Tomorrow early start, work. At least it means money! Abbi wants me to meet her in Yeovil, but I am trying to save on money.
And on Sunday I am going out with Tom, first time we have met up since our "break". I hope it goes ok!
I will post you about it later
Wish me luck!

Kylie and Jason....

2007-09-30T07:58:00.000+01:00

Wow. What a crazy weekend. I guess the best place to start is from the beginning!!

Right well in the end Taelor couldn't make Saturday. So we agreed that we would meet the Saturday after. To be honest I don't even know why I agreed to meeting up with him, I think it was just because everyone was telling me that I have to move on from Tom. But to be honest I don't think that they actually knew how much I love him.

Anyway, Friday night, Tom phones me. We have a normal conversation, and I didn't really know how much I had missed him until that phonecall. I found that his voice was like a wave... just so refreshing. I told him about the plans Taelor had, and about the texts and IM's he had been sending me. He didn't sound too happy about this, and when I had told him how everyone had been telling me that I can do bettter then him etc. that made him a bit angry... mainly because he thought that the people were his friends. On top of all of this, I had told him about the unwanted male attention I had been getting the last week. I'm sure you can imaging his reaction.

Other then him being a bit pissed off by the end of the phone call, it was still great to talk to him and he was thankful that at least someone around here told the truth (me!)

Yesterday morning I got up to go to work after only 4 hours of sleep. I was absolutely knackered. Mum offered to drive me down, to prevent me walking for 20 minutes in the freezing rain, but it resulted in me being a bit late. Work was exterely busy, which is very unsual, as Tesco is just up the road, and where i work is a small family owned buisness. But it was quite interesting as two Australian women and a Canadian woman came in, taking pictures of things from their childhood such as the Beano magazine and sherbert dip dap!

After work I went into Yeovil to meet with Abbi. Due to the recent fall out of me and Carla I have been unable to hang out with her so much, which is shame as we both get on really well. We did a bit of shopping, and Abbi stocked up on cigerettes before the age limit goes up to 18 instead of 16 on Monday. I am surprised she got served, but she got so flustered she ended up getting some old Granny fags! haha

The bus home waas almost 2 hours instead of half an hour, because the bus driver went the wrong way, and the route was the long one which went around all of the villages. But I was entertained as a few classmates where on the bus, so that was ok .

When I got home, and had been on the computer for a bit the phone rang. I picked it up and low and behold it was Tom.
To cut it short, as I am starting to go on a bit here, he told me that he had came to a decision, and that he wanted me back. Well, as one can imagine, I was very startled about this. But he said it was he didn't realise how lucky he was to have me until the conversation the previous nigght. I won't go on, otherwise I will sound a bit up my self, but he sounded like he was really quite very sorry. I accepted his apology, And that is that!

This morning I woke up stupidly early, may be because through out the night my mobile rang several times, im guessing because Lawrence and all of his mates are having a sleepover , which always results in me getting some sort of phonecall or text in the middle of the night, them asking me to have sex with them or something of that nature. TYPICAL!

Well I better be off now, as this is a fairly long post and if you have managed to survive this long then you deserve some sort of a medal.

And if anyone knows the definition of a "lie in" please remind me what it is!

I Kept My Word...

2007-09-27T17:12:00.000+01:00

Mood: Confused

And posted again only a few days after the last! But despite that quite alot of things have changed.
School has changed alot for starters. The workload is piling up, and so is the homework.... looks like we are finally getting down to business :P
Anyway, less about the dullness that is cold, another thing that has changed is the weather. It has suddenly got alot colder and bitter then it has been recently. Which is very annoying as we haven't really had a summer in this county this year :(
Another change is Tom and I.... we seem to be on a 'break' at the moment. But not sure if itwill eventually work out. Either way, he asked if we were to meet up at half term to see how things are. Fine by me. But its just a shame. I won't go on about it though, as it will end up annoying you and upsetting me.
Well later we are going out with Sue and Dave to go to the cinema to watch the new Simon Pegg movie "Run Fat Boy, Run". I will post here later how it was.
But there is something I am having a dilemma about. One of Tom's friends, called Taelor, as asked to meet up with me in town, and we maybe go to the cinema on Saturday. Wether or not this is a date I don't know, but he has been texting me quite a bit, and I have to say quite flirtatiously!!! I don't really know what to make of the whole situation. Well I have agfreed to meeting up, and I guess whatever happens, happens. I just hope I don't regret it!

I better get going now!
Toodles!
Millie
xx

O Dear

2007-09-21T18:40:00.000+01:00

I didnt keep my promise. And it has been such a long time scince myt last post. I hope that it will not happen again, as I keep wanting to keep a near enough daily account of my life.

Reading over my last post, it all seems only a few days ago, time has really flown by!

Well I am still with Tom. It has been 3 months, on the Monday just gone. We are doing fine, despite the bit of a hiccup yesterday. I was so upset at the prospect of loosing him, as I really have nothng else. But with the stress of him now going to college, it is starting to put a strain on our relationship. But we can handle it, we are strong :-)

Things with my father have not exactly improved either. Since I last posted we have had many an argument, mainly about me seeing him, considering the last time I did see him was back in February, and was cut short as I decided to go home early on my own. As him and Melissa, who are now married, have moved into this smaller flat with Melissa's son and girlfriend, there is currently no room for one of us to stay over night. With much persuasion my father offered for me to stay in the front room on the floor, but I am not entirely keen on that considering I have never met this branch of my 'family' as it is. I am sure you can understand why I would not want to do this.

Anyway, over the summer lots of stuff happend. I got some results for some exams that I took 2 years early. For my maths modules I got an A* and for my statistics I got an A, which might go up as then coursework has to be remarked as there was a problem with the monitoring stuff

Also over the summer I went up to the Isle of Mull to see my friend Holly. Scotland is such a beautiful country, and I was amazed how different it was to down here. There are mountains everywhere you go, and Loch Lomond is juust breathtaking. Here are two photos of many.

Aswell I spent alot of time with Tom. I feel that this summer has probably been one of the best in my life. I have never before felt so close to somebody, and connected so well. I really hope that this lasts for a long time.

We went on many adventures to London, Glastonbury and many other places that I cannot remember!!!!

But here is a picture of me and him :-)

At the moment I am finding school quite lonely. I am not enjoying it much and I really am at the end of my tether. I wish that there was something I could do about it :(

Well I really do hope that next time I will post sooner!!

Speak soon
Millz
xx

Apologies....

2007-06-30T13:35:00.000+01:00

Firstly I must apologise for my absence for the last 7 weeks. Due to my busy schedule of exams etc I haven't really found any time to write a blog.

Less about that more about real stuff

I left you on my last post, telling you how I felt that me and Jordan may no longer be, I was sure right. I decided to end it with him. And tell him some home truths. For example when on the bus in France, my ex from 2 years ago who was also on the trip, decided to take advantage of me while I was sleeping. Of course I have sorted that out but that is another story.. Anwyay 2 days within breaking up with Jordan he was back with his ex!

The pair of them decided it was fun to harrass me constantly with picutres of themselves together, inviting me to their MSN conversations where they would confess their love to one another.. etc etc etc, I guess you get the picture. So I saw this as an oppurtune moment to create a new MSN/e-mail adress, which I have been wanting to for a while!

So for a while, I was still single.. but thats where it all gets interesting!

I received an email telling me someone had messaged me on my bebo. I dont usually get real messages on bebo, in other words for once someone decided to send me mail about something genuine, not that your dog will get raped by some scary clown in the next 5 minutes.

It was this guy, named Tom, who had seen that I was on the top 16 of one his friends, (Ali) who I hadnt spoken to for a long long long long time, and had onchad a liking to me.
Anyway in the mail, Tom was just enquiring how I knew Ali, to be honest it was all very random. I messaged back explaining and we swapped MSN adresses.

We got chatting, and Im not quite sure why it exactly happend, but we decided to meet up the following Sunday...
I won't go into much detail what hapend, but he asked me out and yea, we are a couple!

Its been 13 days so far, and its been amazing!

Um dont really know what else I can say, but that was a breif catch up!

Today its raining, like it has been for the last two weeks in this godforsaken country
However yesterday at school we had Frecnh day where the local priamry schools came up for a day of attempting to speak french, I was in charge of the Bureau de Change, which was very important and actually quite fun! This whole week has been very quiet at school, as Year 11s have left, its work expereince for 10's, majortiy of my year group are in bude, and loads of 7's and 8's are in Spain!!!!!!

I cant really be bothered to write anymore as my fingers are very cold!

I promise that I will not leave such a gap between the next post like I did between this one and the one before!

Millie

Long Time No Speak!

2007-05-09T19:30:00.000+01:00

I have had my SATS this week so i havent been able to get on here as much as I have wanted to. Yesterday we had our science papers which were ok but today we had maths. usually maths is my strongest subject but today I found it quite hard. and now i am panicing :S

Well my beauitful plants are growing very well. My beetroot, carrots and corriander are all showing signs of growing. I find it very rewarding when seeds turn into plants. It's like you have given them the chance to live instead of drying up in some paper packet. And my strawberries are doing very well and showing the first signs of turning red :D:D:D:D:D

Tomorrow I have the Shakespeare paper and the reading (i think) paper.
Hopefully it will go better then today!!
Wish me Luck
Millz
xx

This Is What I Was Warned About

2007-05-02T18:54:00.000+01:00

Ok firstly, my SAT's are less than a week. So far I have managed 45 minutes of Maths revision... great! But my expected levels I have reached in the mocks so I should hopefully be ok... wish me luck!
Secondly, it is either that I am getting paranoid with the stress of exams or whatever, but I feel that Jordan and I could be taking a turn for the worse. I dont think it helps that we havent spoken in a while due to the glorious weather we are having at the moment, I havent been able to get online.
But it has made me think, that after the exchange, say we dont talk for a bit, i just feel we are going to loose the 'intensity' in our relationship. I see why people dont advise on long distance relationships. Also the fact of getting lost in trasnlation doesnt really help. Today has been a major turning point and has made me realise how stupid this was of me.

Anyway, here is a picture of me and him. I like it, only because I look okish for once in a photo!
Hopefully things will get better and it is just me over reacting, for once I wish this is the case!
Speak soon hopefully
Millie

Long Time.... Just Feels So Short

2007-04-24T19:55:00.000+01:00

I havent updated in a while, and I am very sorry for that. But with Jordan staying here it has been very hard to do so
This morning he left :( It's only really sunk in.... why were they only here for a week. It is not very fair. I know I go over there on the 14th, but 2 weeks is just not enough. Im hoping that we will be able to meet up after the exchange, but again nothing is definite.
I know it sounds stupid, but I didn't know how much this was going to hurt. I thought that I could handle being away from him, but I can't as it is such a big change from living with him for a week.

Saturday was great fun... here is a picture of the whole group minus 1.... (Helen who took the picture)

I will be getting more photos when they are sent to me... By the way look at the guys on the left (Jordan and Alexis) hahahah!!!

As you can see it looked like great fun, and as the week progressed it got better and better.....

I really cannot wait until i go... but I have my SATs before, which I am crapping my pants about. I dont know why, as I have done fine in the mocks, but I just havent got ANY time to revise, with this Statistics coursework.....

Why is there so much pressure put on us kids these days?!

Feeling Alright Again..

2007-04-17T15:42:00.000+01:00

Tonight's the night Im gunna get right, gunna hit the scene with my friends. Tonights the night I'm gunna feel alright, feeling alright again!

Jordan arrives tonight. Its weird in the fact that the time has came really fast. Its also weird in the fact that I have got to know him so well over msn, and that is the basisi of our relationship.
Im also very nervous, nervous if he changes his opinion about me, nervous he appears to be the compleate oppisite of what I know on msn. Im also nervous about other peoples opinions.

The fact that I am insecure doesnt really help!

Well I have to go now, I just dropped by to write a quick note
Wish me luck!!

My Name Is Annie, and I like to Sing...

2007-04-16T20:14:00.000+01:00

Tomorrow... tomorrow.. i love you tomorrow!

Yes, it is officially the final countdown until the frenchies arrive... its the final countdown... dododoodo,
As you can tell I am not in the slightest positive mood about this whole event...

*5 MINUTES LATER AFTER TAKING SEVERAL DEEP BREATHS*

I am currently trawling the internet for free samples. I have signed up to about 20, at least, in the last few days and have only received one, my Original Source Tea Tree and Lavender Bath Foam, which I shall be "sampling" in a minute. Tonight will be my last chance to have a bath without the increasing worry of certain people "accidentally" bursting in on me, for a week.

I really should be cleaning my room, but I honestly cannot be bothered, so I guess that tomorrow evening, I will have to do that

Today was my first day back to school. Bloody awful. I was given a lecture about my Woodwork project, I dont really care, Im not taking it for GCSE so why I am being marked to a GCSE markscheme I do not know... I got a U. How joyus

Sorry for such a short post but I need the loo!

I'm going to regret this...

2007-04-15T01:41:00.000+01:00

It is almost 2 in the morning. I am exteremly tired, and there is no way i can get a lie in tomorrow as I am going to Bath for a picnic in the park with Jaz, if the weather is nice! Im at Jaz's at the moment, i am on the laptop, Jaz is right next to me on the computer which was quite fun when we were on Msn.... ok we are weird

Today was the grandnational, my family betted on these 2 horses , one of them came very close to winning, but I cannot remember what position as, I was only half listening to the programme!

This afternoon, due to the goregous water, we had a water fight which was hilarious, and ended up getting into our pyjamas at 4 pm.......

As you can tell I have had quite a childish day, mind some of the conversations I have had tonight on MSN, are not the sort. I found out , that someone who I used to have a liking off, would willingly go out with me now, if we both didnt have out commitments, I was not at all expecting that due to our history, which I will not go into just yet, maybe at a later date!!!

Here is a picture of something I will very much need these coming few days.... no its not coke...

It is in fact powdered caffine FYI!!!

There goes the bicep man!

2007-04-13T19:53:00.000+01:00

Today, my family and Sue and co went to the beach at Exmouth. We had planned it a week ago when the weather was gorgeous, but today it was very overcast, typical of British weather. So we went anyway and we had some fun. As Mum, Sue, Jen and I were drinking our coffees and teas, we watched the boys faff about on the beach. When suddenly their ball went in the water.

There was no time to get it, and was soon swept out to see. The boys wateched, while mourning over their loss. It reminded me of the part in Castaway when Hanks says goodbye to Wilson....
Anyway, we got another ball and played volleyball which was a great laugh, as we had to keep running and diving to prevent another Wilson event!

We then went to the park think and got on these pedal swans. Max and I shared one, which got quite annoying, so I quickly jumped over to Sue's swan, carefully dodging the watchful eye of the bicep man, who me and Jen took a fancy too.

We tehn went to get a traditional whipyy ice cream, with not so traditional flavours, such as blackcherry and kirsch :P And bumped into an old teacher of mine, who is friends with Mum and Sue, havent seen her in many years. She now has 2 more children. Other then that not much had changed!

Another thing that was slightly odd, was a sign that showed the following

No Swimming for 400 m in an Easternly Direction

< ---------------------------

We were on the south coast, but how confusing is that?

Anyway, I am very tired and my art project is calling to me, o great!

2007-04-12T20:01:00.000+01:00

Ha this made me laugh!!!!

Waiting.....

2007-04-11T20:16:00.000+01:00

Today I seemed to of been doing a great deal of waiting.

Firstly we had to go to my grandparents old house, as this courier was picking up a chair that we had managed to sell on ebay. A very old chair. Anyway they gave us a two hour time slot they would be there, so of course we had to be there for that amount of time. Thankfully 45 minutes in they came. Still, it was 45 minutes waited
Secondly, we had to pick up my brother from this persons house. They live next to my aunt , and they have a grandson who visits them during the holidays, who is the same age as my brother. They both get on pretty well. Unfortunately I was stuck in the car while my mum was invited in for a coffee etc, the usual call!
Finally Max and I went for a bike ride to Tesco, and as he has a new bike (which is a funny story) I had to keep waiting up for him

As you can tell, i have had a very patience testing day. Talking about Tesco and the new bike, that leads me into something else.
For starters, this tesco I am talking about, is probably the most rural tesco ever. Right next to it, are the levels, which flood very occasionally, and have cows grazing on it. Another view I must take a picture of to add here....

And the new bike is technically not new, we got it out of a skip!! shhh! It wasn't as bad as our friend Wendy, who is very crazy, she got a whole load of stuff for her allotment!

Sorry guys no picture for today!

Only 7 Days...

2007-04-10T20:15:00.000+01:00

Its only a week until Jordan will arrive at my doorstep. Well not technically, because we have to go and pick him up from the school at 1 am... which is truely not a highlight of the exchange! I am dreading the moment. Even though we have been talking on MSN for the last few months, I still feel slightly nervous. When I meet him, what am I going to do? Greet him in the French way, shake his hand? Give him a hug? I really dont know. Last year it was not so awkward as the girl, Lolita, I had not spoken to before so it was ok.

Today "I " bought a new pair of Converses. I say I in inverted commas, mainly because it wasn't my money, thankfully! I will post a photo of them up here when I can, and before they get too muddy... I will also show you one of my old ones, and as you will be able to tell, I needed a new pair quite desperately!

I have finally finished my JFK conclusion. I had to write an essay to who I thought killed him etc etc...... To be honest I strongly believe in the Intelligence Plot Theory.. Whether I am not going to get threats from the CIA and FBI to take this off, I cannot tell, just yet!

The smell of roast chicken is wafting into the study, so I better be off!
Hopefully I will post soon.. thats if I'm not banished

Cosmic Ordering and sunny sunny sun

2007-04-07T22:17:00.000+01:00

Recently cosmic ordering has been in the press due to the acheivement of Noel Edmunds and his return to fame, with his show "Deal Or No Deal" To be honest I used to like that show, but to me its like some kind of cult... all the people seem to know one another very well have ongoing private jokes amongst them. It makes me feel like a reject of society.

Anyway today for me cosmic ordering has worked. This is not the first time, but these events are increasing in their frequency. I would seriously recomend it.

This has also backed up my thoughts that everything happens for a reason. I am a strong believer in fate and all of that, and my belief is again, increasing, due to recent events. When looking back on life. For example, I have just met this amazing guy. Nothing serious is of yet, but things soon are to be. And this is how I have got here.

Here is a bit of background story. Last year I went on the French Exchange,which is exclusieve to my school, and it was hell. I had a really bad partner and alot of crap went on, which was on of the causes of my months of depression.

My first step to this was that I decided to stay on at my current state school. I was given a great oppurtunity to go to a really good private school, but I turned it down. I dont really know why, but it just felt RIGHT that I should stay on.

My second step was my interest in languges. I am now fluent enough in french to get to know someone pretty well .

My third step was applying for this years exchange, despite my previous experiences, and fears of what this years might be like, i still went for it. On my application form I dont write down that I have an allergy to animals or have asthma. It just FELT right not to.

I then receive my exchange partners info. No picture, but I fell good about this whole thing

We finally get chatting on webcam and things start from there. Ok he has a dog and his father smokes, but if I had chosen to put those things on my form I would not of got him.

It just shows you should listen to your gut EVERY time.

England

2007-04-04T18:00:00.000+01:00

Now I don't know if it is because recently there has been some beautiful weather, but I have started to re appreciate the English countryside.
So I decided to take my little poodle Lizzie, and my two brothers for a walk. However it ended in tears, like usual , as Max got shot by an electric fence....
Anyway here are a few of the pictures....

Welcome

2007-04-03T18:14:00.001+01:00

Well today has been rather dull. I did go to this Chinese buffet, which was rather fun.
Only 14 days, or 2 weeks depending how you want to look at it until our friends from over the Channel arrive over here in England. That should be fun, and I will most definitely be posting about that here!
We already have many things planned for them, as at the weekend we have to entertain our exchange partners. As a whole bunch of my friends are also going on the exchange, we are all planning to meet up on the Saturday, for the usual bowling/pizza hut trip. Should be fun, yet pricey as I am going to have to pay for Jordan, my "correspondent".....
In the summer I will hopefully be going to Barcelona as I have links over there. The family I am going to speak French and Spanish, and as I will be picking up Spanish next year, it should held me get to grips with it.
Also in the summer I will be hopefully going to Beautiful Days in Devon, I went last year and it was GREAT! But this year I am going to have to camp... might be a different experience all together, mind where we stayed last year may of been worse, with dog poo everywhere +o(
Well I'm off now.... I have to think of a photo I can put with this!
Hopefully you will come back soon!!!!