New Year New Start

So very much has happened since my last post. But I will not go into it. If you know what happend, you know.

I'm having a hard time at the moment trying to understand people. And things are very hard at the moment. J is going through a break down at the moment. With the prospect of us breaking up on a one year temporarily basis, in order for a huge career change is tearing him apart. What is age at the end of the day except for a number? If I was just born one year earlier the amount of difference it would make is astounding.
Understanding his illness is a mountain which I hope to reach the summit of soon. I think the best thing for us to do is to talk. Alot. We haven't really spoken it alot to one another, except for the side effects of his medication.
I try and stay so strong for him, but I also need someone to lean on in life. I am currently missing my father very much. It has been almost a whole year since I last saw him. I think I might email him.

I am getting really confused about J, as it is putting a huge strain on me. I dont know what to do.